Depression- My Untold Story

For quite sometime people think that I have a strong personality. Unknown to them, I have deep seated issues brought about by loss of my mother. My mother is one of the most important person in my life next to my wife.



It was 1998, when she was diagnosed with colon cancer. She had a surgery and was confined in St. Lukes Hospital ICU for a couple of weeks. On the first week of her stay in the ICU, she begged me to go back to the United States because according to her she will be fine and she's afraid that I might lose my job if I stay longer in the Philippines. As much as I don't want to leave her in that condition, I acceded to her request, I went back to the United States.



After I went home from my first day of work, I received a phone call that my beloved mother didn't make it. It was the worst day of my life. I felt guilty that I wasn't at her side when she passed away. How I wish that I didn't listen to her and stayed with her the whole time that she was in ICU. But on the other hand, I know that she was happy that I listened to her .



I talked to my Supervisor if he can allow me to take another leave of Absence to attend to my funeral but instead he gave me a hard time. Finally he gave me a permission to go for only a week. Until now I hate my Supervisor for giving me a hard time . I hated him more when I discovered that I am eligible to take a leave of absence to care for my mother when she was at the hospital under the family leave Act (FMLA). It was never offered to me by my supervisor.



At the airport I was on the chance passenger list however, I wasn't able to make it as the plane was full of passengers. It added to my misery and I was very frustrated that I wasn't able to go home. On the way home, we were stopped by Highway Patrol for not having the registration sticker pasted on my car. We received a ticket because of this.



On the next day, i finally was able to fly back to the Philippines. As I was driving home, I saw a tricycle (mode of transportation) with wreath at the with the name of my mother. it was the worst feeling. I stopped my car and started crying hard. I wanted to scream out of grief but instead I cries for a long time. Finally, I drove home and saw my mother inside the coffin. No tears came from my eyes from then on. The grief that I had was internalized. I didn't even cried when my mother was finally laid to rest.



For 12 years, I never cried once. Even if I try to cry, I wasn't able to do it, I don't know why. My wife thought that it is because I have a very strong personality. but little she know that although I am strong outside , inside I am very weak.

DOES THE DEATH OF ANGELO REYES ABSOLVES HIM AND HIS FAMILY FROM POSSIBLE CORRUPTION CASES? DO YOU AGREE?

It is sad that the Senate is not so keen in further investigating the culpability of the late Angelo Reyes and his family. It was already pronounced by no less that Sen. Jinggoy Estrada that he will not invite the family of the late Secretary.

What if the Reyes family indeed benefitted from the anomalous transactions in the AFP? Do we just turn a blind eye because we feel sorry for Secretary Reyes death? Do we just allow them to keep the money because we feel sorry for them? The money that is involved is peoples money, so we have the right to know the truth. It is interesting to know if how many soldiers died or got injured because the money that is supposed to be spent for their uniforms, armor or ammunitions was spent by corrupt Generals.

The investigation would have given the Reyes family a chance to clear their names. If they are not guilty, they should never be afraid to face the investigation.

AFTER SECRETARY ANGELO REYES COMMITTED SUICIDE WHAT'S NEXT?

I do hope that even with the death of Sec. Angelo Reyes's death, the investigation of the corruption in the military should continue. The money that was stolen are people's money so the people has the right to know who stole it and to make sure that whoever is the culprit will be punished.

The death of Sec. Reyes shouldn't stop the Senate from investigating even the wife of the late Secretary. His death does not exonerate him or his wife, plain and simple.

THE TRUE STATE OF CAMARINES SUR.....

How do you measure progress? Is it the number of tourist attracting business ventures of provincial government? Is it the number of tourist that actually visited the province and enjoyed the man-made creation and its precious God-given natural creations i.e Caramoan Island.

Aesthetically, Camarines Sur is a progressive place. With the CWC up and running and with thousands of foreign and local visitors pouring in every year, I'm sure the coffers of the provincial government are filled up with revenues coming from this venture. But wait....nobody really knows what is the state of the finances of the provincial government. They seem to hide what is the true state of our finances in the province.

I am a fan of Governor L-ray, don't get me wrong. I think he placed the province in the map of the Philippines and in the Tourism world. The only issues I had with him is why is he not also giving priority to the basic needs of his constituents. He shouldn't be focusing only on Tourism.

Maybe create more projects that will directly benefit the people of Camarines Sur like roads, medical assistance to the poor, job creation etc....

Now his term is almost over, I guess he is grooming his son to be his succesor maybe against the old TRAPO Luis Villafuerte. Apo vs. Lolo. Let the Circus begin........

NO TO AIRLINES FUEL SURCHARGE INCREASE!!!

As an OFW I condemn the impending increase of airplane fare because of the proposal to allow airlines to increase fuel surcharges. If you will remember the last time the airlines increased the airfare was when the price of the oil is about $112/barrel. This resulted in significant increase in airfare and also the decrease in the weight of balikbayan boxes from 70 lbs. down to 50 lbs.

NOw with oil just hovering around $89/barrel the airline companies are asking to increase the fuel surcharges. First of all, are we not entitled for a decrease in airfare instead of increasing it. The oil price even went down to less than $60.00 at one point but there were never a roll back of airplane tickets. They gobbled up all the profits at the expense of the passengers. The oil price is still far away from the $112/barrel level but now they are asking for more increase in plane ticket prices. Tsk,tsk,tsk.....